Haven't updated my blog in a while. My excuse? Taking a break. From everything.
Well, not exactly everything. Capoeira has been a bit of a focus lately. The batizado is fast approaching. The event starts Tuesday to be exact. I'm pretty sure everyone I train with all have the same feelings right now: excitement, anxiety, nervousness and perhaps a little bit of doubt.
I'm not going to lie to myself. I know what I want at the end of this week. Question is: Why do I have doubt? Before I continue, let me try my best to bridge a connection to a show that happened to premiere it's fifth season earlier tonight: Dexter.
Now, I've only watched the show up until the Season 2 episode: Dex, Lies & Videotape (hence the title) so I didn't have the privilege of enjoying the beginning of the latest season with the rest of the viewing public. Actually, I just finished watching this episode a couple of minutes ago. (Thanks to my cousin, VJ, for lending me his Season 2 set.)
Perhaps largely due to the narrative format of the show itself, I've found myself relating my life to Dexter's Season 2 tribulations. Now I'm not implying aspects of Dexter's life mirror my own (breathe a sigh of relief, everybody) but his last line of this episode "Maybe I am leaving the old me behind," resonated enough for me to blog my thoughts tonight.
I have to take steps to do the same thing: Leave the "old" me behind.
The old me has the unfortunate habit of waiting for the "right" time to do something. However, when is it ever the right time to do anything? Furthermore, why can't the right time to do something be right NOW?
Earlier this year I've been telling myself, "I'm going to wait until after this year (2010) is over before I start pursuing a new career."
or "I'm only going to open my heart again when I know it won't get hurt this time."
or "I'm going to train harder when it's getting closer to the batizado."
I know great things will happen when everything you've done in preparation for your goals falls into place. But why wait to find the right time to set everything in motion? Why not constantly work on the things that will eventually result in what I want in my life?
So whatever happens at the end of this week...happens.
But from now on, I need to leave the old me behind and start living everyday with thoughts in my mind that go a little something like this:
"Today I am going to __________, because NOW is the right time to do it."
Oh, and that little break I've been taking that I mentioned earlier? It's over.